I Can

I am having some very interesting experiences in this spiritual place, right now. I feel hollowed out, and I just want you to know that it is a great feeling being empty inside. I'm not talking about feeling empty, which has to do with self-worth and value. I'm mean being empty, which has to do with having been turned upside-down and forcing all that's inside of you outside. These things that were inside of me had nothing to do with who I was. I was filled up with needlessness, things that didn't matter. I didn't have a clue who I was, anymore. I was lost, and although I'm not sure where I am right now, I do know that I have been found. I've been found and emptied of all the trash and debris that was inside of me. I'm being worked on in the factory, and things are beginning to change for me. In the not-too-distant past, my prayer was for God to change me. I got tired of praying and complaining about the mishaps and shortcomings of others, and I decided that the only way I would see change is if it were through my eyes. I didn't realize until later that I wanted to see others with compassionate and patient eyes, instead of disappointment. Once startled out of the fear of what change could bring, I was able to accept the revelation of change. I was able to see me for me. I didn't have to pay a price to see me, anymore. I was selling myself off bit by bit. Now, I didn't have to pay a price of compromise or consequence or spreading myself too thin or guarded walls or insecurity or doubt or the biggest price of all, fear. I feared a lot, and I do still deal with fear, but I don't let it consume me. For instance, if I fall prey to it, I no longer let it overwhelm me and take me over. Instead, I just accept it and move onto the next thing. I know a lot of you have been able to deal with fear a little better than me for a long time now, but I'm just learning to accept that fear is a part of life and that it doesn't mean I can't do something when it shows up. In fact, now, its mere presence means to me that I can.

With love,
Yvette

I was going to listen to, what I call, Steve Harvey's Inspirational Vitamin, this morning. However, as much as I think that Steve has become a great man with a great message, I felt torn. I was wondering why I felt this way and began to have a conversation with God. I mentioned to God that I wanted to listen to Steve, but that I felt the experience he would be sharing may have been just as significant as the one I was having at that moment and that I didn't need to hear his when I was having my own. Just moments earlier, I began to have a series of experiences that would allow me to see myself and life differently, and I realized some things that, I felt, were very important--revelations that I had never thought before. While it was approaching the time to listen to Steve Harvey, I began to feel that I wanted to listen to him. At the same time, I wanted to stay in my own experience. As I was speaking with God about this, I asked myself, "What is your inspirational vitamin, for today?" This was a wow moment, for me because I realized I had one, based on the series of experiences I had from my morning dreams, just before I awoke to my prayers to God. I wasn't sure if I wanted to journal it or blog it. Well, I guess it's obvious what I decided to do, so here goes...

I woke up from a series of healing dreams that led to very powerful affirmations, this morning. My dreams consisted of experiences that paralleled the feelings and experiences I was having in real life. Those experiences, however, were healed by the postive messages those dreams produced. Once I awoke and found that I had some alone time, I began to positively affirm myself through self-empowering messages all relayed directly to God. It was a good thing, for me. I was affirming myself to the Almighty and not to anyone else, and by affirming myself to Him, I was affirming who I was, to me. I learned that my definition of who I am comes from no one but God. I don't need to ask anyone else. I already have it with God. By positively affirming myself with God, I was able to speak some very positive and extensive words into the atmosphere that extended beyond me but also involved my offspring. I'm very excited to have been able to do this because it opened up whole new opportunities for us to live the lives we were meant to live. I have such gratitude for that.

A very good friend of mine would remind me to ask for guidance and wisdom. At first, I was upset with her suggesting it because I knew doing so would bring about something I didn't want. However, once I did, it went beyond wanting, and not wanting, and into a realm of willingness, on my part. Not only did I ask for guidance and wisdom, I listened when they showed up, and although I didn't listen to one feeling, recently, I realized the lesson and hopped back on the journey. I let the experience teach me.

The only thing I can suggest to you is that you allow (something another good friend of mine suggested, years ago, and I just began doing). I allowed without fuss, without long stories, without confusion. I just did what God told me to do, and I suggest you do the same. No matter what it is, when you hear it, make the attempt to say, "Okay, God, I hear you. I'll do it, but you have to lead me. Show me the way because I have no idea what you're talking about." And He will. He will lead the way, but you have to be quiet enough inside to just take the information as it comes without analyzation but, instead, with purpose in mind. He will continue to put inside (or bring up and out) of you all the information you need to follow His lead. Patience is a must and trust is another. It takes time and the faith that you're being led to the place where God lives in you. That's all it takes is time and faith, which will produce love.

I love you! Mwwwah!!
Yvette

Soul-lace

Silence roaming quickly through my belly
As I reach down into my soul to find peace
I relish in the thought that the spirit can soar again
Nothing can make sense while you're struggling to find yourself
The only thing you can do is be rescued.

Yvette